pew pew merica

Man tased for putting out fire in own home

Florida Police are congratulating themselves after breaking up an unusual fight this week. Investigators are still mulling over the details that led to the tasing of one man after he refused to stop fighting…a deadly fire ravaging everything in his home. As the fire destroyed his worldly possessions, homeowner Derek Jensen lay face down on the ground in a puddle of water before his two children, incapacitated, a police taser jutting out from his back. His crime? He wasn’t charged with one! Quoted as being “suspiciously neighborly,” Jensen used a hose to put out the fire that was ravaging his home and spreading to his neighbor’s house. When police arrived on the scene, they told Derek that he was not allowed to fight the fire. He must wait for the government firefighters to do that. Yeah, Derek. And it’s a good thing we collectivize fire service, or else fires could spread to neighbors homes. When he persisted, the police shot Derek with a taser. Since there was no video of the encounter, here is a reenactment:

Man: “Where’s the fire department?”

Police: “They’ll get here right after their break.”

Man: “I have to keep back this fire while we wait!”

Police: “No, sir, you can’t. Don’t you know you pay the government to do these things for you?”

Man: “Yes, but they’re not here.”

Police: “Well, we’re here.”

Man: “But you’re getting in my way!”

Police: “Stop Resisting!” **Taser** (pew pew) “‘Merica.”

You might think the actions of the officer are despicable, unjustifiable, outrageous. But you’re wrong! The officer isn’t culpable for his actions. His superior ORDERED him to taser the man. Don’t blame the messenger. After all, who could have expected this “glitch in the matrix”? The police are the glue of society. They’re what hold the fragile, delicate balance of the world together with their …violence …I mean defensive weapons pain sticks. This could never happen in your town.

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DerrickJ

DerrickJ

DerrickJ is a media producer with a penchant for peaceful resistance. After serving 60 days of a 540-day sentence for engaging in a "Victimless Crime Spree," he moved back to Philadelphia where he now produces a live podcast on the peaceful evolution happening around the globe.

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